The First Moment of Revelation (of many)

There comes a time, I am told, in most first years of teaching, when you suddenly realize something very fundamental about yourself, your subject, your students, and this whole concept of being a teacher: You're in way over your head. That was my revelation this week. Following said revelation, there was much trembling of fear and gnashing of teeth, and then, laughter. It now seems positively absurd that I, in my complete denial, could imagine that I had the ability and means to take on this herculean task. There aren't enough hours in the day to do my job, much less to learn how.

--I wrote this blurb as the beginning of a blog post a few weeks ago. It still rings true; I hate the condition of not knowing what I'm doing or how to do it well, but I recognize this week that it is just the way things are and I have come to accept that doing the best I can will have to do for right now. My students are the most important part of my day, and they are there every day. Past that, taking care of myself is important and making progress is what I look forward to and the rest of it is gravy. :)

The First Good Week

Finally, something good to post. :) I've been having a good week so far, and a lot of it has to do with my fabulous students. Choir is finally starting to feel like choir; my high schoolers are learning what it means to hold one another accountable in a performing ensemble, and how to work together as a team. Besides some growing pains, I'm excited to see them coming together and finally having that "choir identity." I've also seen an improvement with my middle schoolers, perhaps because progress reports went home last week and they're looking to boost their grades as the end of the quarter looms. I can't believe it's already been almost 7 weeks; it feels like we just started yesterday. At the same time, I'm glad to finally start to feel comfortable at and around my school. Being without a classroom or office of my own has been difficult (and it makes my back hurt), but I'm starting to get into a rhythm with organization and schedule that has really helped. Also, everyone has been so understanding and helpful, from faculty and staff to students and administration, and parents too! I feel like I'm finally starting to get the hang of things, but with that comes the feeling of more responsibility to provide my students with the opportunities they need to be successful musically and in life. It hasn't been easy, and it won't be easy, but at least I'm approaching normal. Finally. Part of that normal comes from having a personal schedule that I can stick to, which is not something I did before I started teaching, and has always caused me some deal of stress. I'm a social creature by nature, and it's hard to find even one other person who is as awake at 6 AM as I am. Exercise usually helps, but I'm terrible at setting a schedule for myself and then sticking to it. I've been getting better at that this week, and I've really tried to pay attention to what my body is telling me about sleep and food and exercise and to respond appropriately. That sometimes means that the school work I'd planned doesn't get done, that parents don't get emailed or called, and that work isn't handed back in a timely fashion. I consider it water under the bridge if I can keep myself well enough to keep coming to school and being a support and help to my students, and if it keeps me sane. :) I'm glad tomorrow is Thursday, and I'm glad to finally feel like I'm getting into a groove.

In the next couple of weeks, I'll be taking my first field trip (!). I hope to post about that afterwards and tell all of my great adventures with students, parents, buses, tickets and lunches. For now, I'm going to email a reminder to turn in permission slips and money and watch the Presidential debate. As always, suggestions (especially curriculum/lessons), comments, and encouragement are welcome! Thank you for reading!

The First Week (and day off)

The first full week ended yesterday, just in time for the Labor Day weekend. It was a rough one for me, to be sure. After a mix-up with some medication that got progressively worse, I stayed home Wednesday and left my new classroom in the hands of a capable substitute. I also celebrated a birthday on Thursday, despite illness and scheduling difficulties. Dealing with life and teaching simultaneously has been a major transition so far, and something tells me it isn't going anywhere soon. As for the classroom, I had 2 walkouts, 5+ detentions, my first student artwork, and plenty of attitude adjustments, including my own. Thursday was particularly nice, probably because my students and I missed each other, and we were able to get into a nice groove with show choir and work on music, real music, right until the bell. It's so refreshing to have a real rehearsal where everyone works hard and the group accomplishes a goal. Now to capture that in every class...

I have to admit, I had been told how hard this year would be. I prepared for it as best I could and I'm trying to follow all the advice I got when I knew enough to know that I would need it some day, along with all of the advice I'm getting now. Still, becoming a teacher is a life-altering process that, like any major life transition, has its growing pains and rewards along the way. It is a truly unique experience that exposes all the character of a person, right down to your bones, the good, bad, and the ugly. It can actually be quite refreshing to know exactly where you stand.

I have already learned so much in the short time I've been here, and I look forward to the lessons to come. Being an adult is not as much fun as being a college student, but it certainly isn't boring. :)

The First Day

Wow. The first day. I hoped and wondered and wished for this day to come, and even now I am still so excited to have a job and to be teaching a subject I love and feel so strongly about teaching. I started my day with friendly faces and a non-functioning main entrance, followed by all the chaos one associates with first days, times about ten. My classroom is the Cafe. That is to say, the cafeteria. Because our campus is mostly "learning cottages," the large group gathering spaces are the Cafe and the gym. This means that all large group functions were held in my room today. Breakfast, lunch, per usual. Also, schedule changes and agendas. So I had about 10 minutes to set my room up after breakfast, only to discover that no one had informed the cafeteria staff of my class schedule. This was followed by a parade of students getting schedules and agendas while I tried to hold class on the other side of the room. What a logistical nightmare! I did what I could, but I was so flustered I couldn't remember how to play the piano and skipped entire chunks of my lesson plan. Eventually, I had all the students standing and singing together and the cafeteria staff was eating lunch, like they always do, at 10 AM. I had the students standing around the piano, which happened to be placed directly next to the table they have always eaten at. This apparently gave them freedom to comment on my lesson and my students' performance, and one staff member made it clear that my students "can not sing!" I was shocked. Everyone on staff has been so supportive and encouraging, even when I would never have expected them to be. It stunned me and I didn't know how to respond. By lunchtime, word had gotten around and I was assured it will be taken care of. The next period was lunch and planning, during which I retold and heard the horror stories of first period, then 2 periods of general music. These were generally (ha!) very smooth, though my older students got a bit bored with name games. I look forward to a successful rest of the week. I met some fantastic students who I really look forward to working with this semester. I also learned a lot about standing up for yourself as an educator while at the same time compromising and making do with what's available. Please, if you are reading this and thinking "Man, my first day was just as insane!" share your story with me! I have already learned the lesson that "there's always something worse out there," and I'm all in all very grateful that everybody lived through the first day. I would love to hear your "first day" stories! Tomorrow is a new day and I'm sure I'll live through it too. :)

The First Job

So here's a milestone I thought would never come. My first day back to school - as a teacher rather than as a student. Four years of college dragged by, and then a long drought of a summer that proved unlucky for music teachers. Interview after interview, I thought "Could this be my job? Could this be what I've waited for all this time?" Until finally, 2 weeks before school starts and I'd given up hope. I signed up to be a substitute in 3 counties and submitted myself to 4 hours of training on dress, behavior, and employee benefits. Little did I know that none of it would matter in a few short hours.
I accepted my first teaching position at a charter school in Charleston, SC, just a few hours after a tip from a fellow sub led me to Craigslist and eventually an interview, which in turn led to my first offer. I will be teaching general music and show choir to a school full of high achieving students from around the county. I have a week and a half to plan a curriculum, gather materials, get myself acquainted with my new classroom, the cafeteria, and figure out how to teach choir with my paltry piano skills. I hope to chart my adventures, frustrations, triumphs and not a few funny moments in my quest to become a second-year music teacher. Wish me luck, grant me wisdom, and share your advice. Lord knows I'll need all three.